Coaching can provide a mindset and build a framework for a successful family – for all generations, the author of this article argues.

This news service occasionally hears the term “coaching” used by advisors to describe part of their relationships with clients. It touches on qualities such as education, guidance and mentorship – particularly important when dealing with clients outside their comfort zones on particular topics, such as how to transfer a business without mishap.

Discussing this topic is Pete Walsh, the founder of The Family Business Performance Center and author of two books, Coach to Win the Leadership Game and The Family Business Playbook. The editors are pleased to share these insights; the usual editorial disclaimers apply to views of outside contributors. Email tom.burroughes@wealthbriefing.com if you wish to join the conversation.

As family leaders, we want our children to have their best lives, right? The challenge is that with today’s youth, it’s hard to find ways to connect and get them to be open to what we have to say. As a family leader myself, a business leader, and trusted advisor to families, I’ve seen firsthand that being an effective leader is more challenging than ever.

When I led the 200 employees in our family business, I had their attention because the employee newsletter and company meetings were the trusted venues for the most relevant information. Today, every leader and parent find themselves competing with the endless number of distractions and brainwashing of social media delivered nonstop on multiple devices 24/7. 

It’s more imperative than ever that leaders have a clear message, and methodology for engaging their audiences and holding their attention. There is no better example of success than that of team sports and coaching. I’ve been using the “coach approach” to leadership in my own family and business teams with a high degree of success for well over 30 years.

Why is a coaching style of leadership the most effective with today’s generation?
Psychology Today cites a 40-year national survey of eight million adolescents. They found that the percentage of high school seniors who said they often felt lonely increased by 50 per cent over the recent five-year period. Leadership today has to break through these cultural trends to be effective.

A coaching leader connects with their team to build resilience, focus and a desire to win. The focus could be winning in business, personal finances, or life.

Here are the elements of being a coaching leader:
Great listening and communication skills. Coaching leaders learn to genuinely engage each player and listen for what drives them. Coaching leaders don’t provide motivation as much as they help each player find their own intrinsic motivation. Individual, intrinsic motivation drives focus and behaviors. The coach asks deep questions to help the players to access their deepest sources of motivation. Great coaches know how to help their players and teams develop a clear vision for winning. People love being a part of winning team. Helping the younger generation tap into their competitive spirit is an important building block. Look at the overwhelming engagement found in the video game industry among all age groups. People love competing when engaged in the right context. 

Empathy and compassion are vital for building a mutually trusting and beneficial coaching environment. Remember the old saying, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Players will listen and be more open to the coach’s advice once they have built a trusting relationship.

Coaching leaders have a strong focus on tangible skill building. The coach helps break down the specific skills needed to succeed in any realm of endeavor. In a family setting, that could be learning how to communicate, collaborate or build the requisite education, personal discipline, and skills for long-term financial success.

Emphasis on the need to practice is a core focus for long-term success. Every great sports team and performing arts group knows they must practice to achieve and maintain the skills needed to perform at a high level. When the coaching leader helps the players learn to love to practice, they foster an engaged, hardworking team.

Resilience is one of the top skills every coaching leader emphasizes. A coaching leader teaches the individual players and the team to embrace the opportunity to face challenges and learn to love competition. Players are encouraged to see losses or setbacks as part of the journey and a chance to dig deeper to find ways to overcome adversity.

The need for individual accountability is reinforced constantly as a vital element of team or family success. Effective coaching leaders have mastered the art of weaving accountability and clear measurements into every conversation. They also learn to develop a clear scorecard for every player on their team.

Here are the steps family leaders can take to build a coaching mindset and coaching culture in their family or organization:
Regular team meetings that introduce and reinforce the ideas of coaching, performing, and competing. Weekly intervals are great, monthly at a minimum. Coaching leaders bring the team together to set goals, build skills through rehearsal, and review recent performance. 

We call that process learning to be a “reflective practitioner.” The team comes together to “review the game film” openly critiquing their individual and team results. Great learning happens from both wins (successes) and losses (failures).  

Clear individual and team scorecards help measure progress and support accountability. Scorecards are best developed with engagement and buy-in from the player and the entire team.

Always demonstrate patience and a willingness to work with a player over the long haul to help them achieve their ultimate success. In my experience working with families, it takes time and several meetings for the family members to fully embrace and gain value out of the coaching process. Be consistent and steadfast and your team will eventually see the fruits of your labor.

As parents and leaders, many of us fight the resistance to simply tell them, “Do what I've done and you will be successful.” But for today's younger generation that won't work. Being a coaching leader enables you to connect in a deeper way, create a stronger, more lasting partnership and ultimately help your players achieve long-term success.  

Today’s world requires new types of leadership to catch the attention of the audience. In a fast moving, highly competitive world, the successful families will learn to be innovative, resilient and adaptable. Coaching creates that mindset and provides the framework for long-term success.

About the author
Master Coach Pete Walsh has family business “deep in his heart” since being involved with his grandfather’s 89-year-old, 300-employee business his whole life. After graduating college with a business degree, he spent 16 years learning how to build strong, focused and loyal business teams. In 1999 Walsh launched Peak Workout Business Coaching (www.peakcoach.com) and has been helping business leaders and business families practice building skills in the areas of leadership, communication and conflict resolution. In 2013 he launched The Family Business Performance Center offering his free tools the Family Business Scorecard and Landmine Detection Map.

In 2010 he published Coach to Win the Leadership Game. In 2021 he published The Family Business Playbook he co-authored with his grandfather posthumously bringing timeless and practical leadership lessons to families worldwide.